I just started this blog for anyone who knew this wonderful man and wanted a place to share their good times with him. He passed away last Saturday night. He was only 39. He was out with friends and camping. He drown in a lake, in the middle of the night. Everyone did all that they could, but it was too late in the end.
My husband Len and I knew him well, maybe not as long as some, but he was one of my husbands best friends. He was devastated to say the least. He had never had anyone close to him die that was not a family member ho died from old age, this was also a first for me. We didn't know what to do the shock was so strong . All we could do was just pace around the house and yard and try to make some sense of it. It felt like a dream and we needed to be pinched, but it was not the pain was so very real. We called everyone we knew to tell of the news that Sunday morning, after we had gotten a call informing us of the news. In a way to was comforting to know that everyone we knew was going through the very same thing. We were not alone. Yes, everyone we knew was sad and some I know will be for a long time. I just wish that we could build a time machine and take back what happened that tragic night. Some how make it right.
I hope that we can remember the good times, the fun, laughter we shared over the years. I know that he would want us to remember him that way. So here we are at the starting point.
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Thanks, Ashley, for posting this and creating this lovely blog! I wil add to it as soon as I can. I know you and Len meant the world to Bob and still do to my sister Lisa. Love you, Angie
ReplyDeleteA wonderful site you have created Ashley. Thank you so much. As Bob's father, it is good to hear how much my son was loved by others. I cherrish the day I had with Len and Bob quail hunting. I know Len was Bob's good friend. Although it doesn't feel like it now, the hurt we all are feeling now will eventually subside, and we will be left with our cherished memories of Bob. Love you guys, Mike
ReplyDeleteThe thing I knew the most about Bob was his love for Lisa. He always seemed a truly good, generous, sensitive, fun-loving, and loved man. We never expect these things to happen, especially to people like that. My heart goes out to all his family, and to you, Lisa, and while I'm glad that I called you, it was one of the hardest calls I ever made, knowing how bottomless you must feel. Not knowing what to say, feeling that nothing could make it better. But it does help, doesn't it, to have people call, to have people let you know they're there. So many times people pull away because they don't know what to say. Call anyway. It's like Mike says, though it doesn't seem like it now, the hurt will lessen and the good memories will remain. Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Bob will rock on in the next life~
ReplyDeleteMelissa Fletcher
I don't want to get too personal today, and I've repeated this story probably too many times. Nonetheless, I have so many memories of Bob - he was in my life through Lisa for nearly six and a half years - that I figured I'd offer a major way he changed my life instead of a distinct memory.
ReplyDeleteI had a shitty divorce that made it so I couldn't trust men for ... two years? But watching Bob with Lisa helped me realize that not all men were bad - they didn't all cheat, lie, or objectify women. He helped me realize that men could perform honorably in relationships. He never said anything, per se, that helped me. Quite the opposite. He kept somewhat silent, not offering cheap therapy like so many others who told me to "snap out of it!" He didn't judge my pace. Instead he demonstrated.
That's how I know he won't judge Lisa's pace of healing. He encourages her to take her time, heal right.
Now I can sort of filter the colloquial wheat from the chaff when it comes to men. If they don't act like Bob, or at least come close, they aren't worth my time or anyone else's who has self-respect.
My niece Lisa is so very lucky to have had such a good love from such a good man. When I first heard about Bob, I had some concerns because of the difference in their ages. As soon as I saw the two of them together though, it was clear that it was a good thing. I thank Bob from the bottom of my heart for having loved Lisa, and for havig enriched us all. I miss him!
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